


Abe and his goats

by katychan666



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 09:02:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17383619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katychan666/pseuds/katychan666
Summary: What happens when Abe makes fun of Albus and Gellert too much.





	Abe and his goats

**Author's Note:**

> Idk it's stupid 😂😂😂😂😂

''Can't you two go somewhere else?'' asked Aberforth, because he was getting sick and tired of having to be forced to watch Albus and Gellert for a few years now. The two of them were on the field, minding their own business, trapped in their own little world, when Aberforth decided to come there with his goats and ruin their fun. ''I mean it's so distasteful,'' he then said and shuddered, Gellert rolling his eyes and Albus did nothing to climb off of the younger wizard. Instead, he pushed him down against the grass and gave him another kiss, hoping that that would get rid of his annoying brother, but it didn't. Aberforth was still there and he groaned when he heard his another complain. 

“You’re so beautiful,” murmured Gellert against Albus’ lips and Aberforth made a gagging sound, earning another glare from his older brother, who didn’t allow him to ruin their fun and he just gazed back down at his lover and gently cupped his face and pressed another kiss on top of his lips. Much to Aberforth’s horror, Gellert wrapped his legs around Albus’ hips and thus locking him next to him for good, the younger Dumbledore making a face and then he turned around to keep an eye on his precious goats, who had to be victims of such tasteless display of affection.

“Your eyes are so pretty,” said Albus happily and his eyes went to the vial around Gellert’s neck and he happily grinned, pressing their foreheads together, thus earning another groan from Aberforth and Albus finally snapped, because his younger brother was acting like a child, nothing else. He climbed off of Gellert and folded his arms on top of his chest. “If we bother you so much, you are free to leave,” he said and then looked back at Gellert, who was now sitting up as well. 

“Yeah, we were here first, shoo,” said Gellert and chuckled when Aberforth rolled his eyes.

“No, no,” said Aberforth. “This is usually where I bring my goats,” he insisted. “This part of the field has the nicest grass, only the best for my goats,” he blurted out and Gellert narrowed his eyes. He noticed something; Albus’ brother had an odd fixation of the goats and he still couldn’t get it why he was so obsessed with the animals, but whatever. “So you two can move somewhere else,” he said and then looked at Albus. 

“We’re staying here,” said Albus simply and then laid onto the grass.

“You’ll ruin the grass,” said Aberforth.

“How?!”

“You’ve stomped all over, see?” said Aberforth and pointed to the field. “Just… go,” he said and Gellert started laughing. It was unlike Albus to be this stubborn, usually he’d listen to his younger brother, but not this time as he only extended out his arms and legs. 

“Funny, I like this part of the field the most,” shot back Albus.

“Al, don’t be a fool. My goats-“

“What’s with you and the goats?” finally asked Gellert, because it had been on his mind forever now and Albus burst into loud laughter, wrapping his arms around his stomach as he laughed, Aberforth rolling his eyes and then just turned around. “I mean every single time,” said Gellert and shook his head. “It’s because you have no other friends?” he asked and Aberforth looked at him.

“No,” he stated defensively. “I have…  _ friends. _ ”

“That one that are human?” asked Gellert and Albus shook his head, telling him to stop making fun of Aberforth. Gellert decided to listen, but then Aberforth went ahead and insulted both of them a few more times and Albus decided to stop playing nice as well. If it was a fight that Aberforth wanted, the fight he’d get. The poor soul wouldn’t be able to win, however. 

“Oh, Gellert, you don’t know the half of it,” said Albus and Gellert looked at him. “You know, Abe and goats, they have a long way back,” he said and Gellert arched an eyebrow. “Do you know that he was almost  _ arrested _ for doing inappropriate things to the goats?” asked Albus and Gellert’s jaw dropped, while Aberforth wanted to hex his brother. It wasn’t like that! It was because he’d been practicing some charms on the goats… not like… Albus made it sound a whole more worse and with the mind that Gellert had, he put two and two together and started laughing. 

“Oh. My.  _ God, _ ” said Gellert in between his laughter, barely breathing as he was laughing so hard. “Arrested for… with the… goats…  _ Merlin help me, _ ” he then went on and Albus was laughing as well, Aberforth wanting to slap both of them. Hard.

“No, it’s not like that!”

“Sure it’s not,” said Gellert after he recovered from the laughing fit. “I knew that you and the goats were  _ close, _ but I didn’t think that you were this close with-”

“Albus tell him!” whined Aberforth. “That it isn’t like that!”

“It is as I stated,” said Albus on purpose.

“It was…  _ charms _ ,” said Aberforth. “No,” he said, panicking, but Gellert was laughing again like a madman and Aberforth wanted to run away and hide. Well, that was what he got for messing with his older brother, he guessed. “… it was the charms, I was trying to… with the goats to… Gellert stop laughing for the love of God!”

“His Patronus is a goat as well,” said Albus, spilling more secrets.

“Shut up, Al,” hissed Aberforth. 

“Make me,” shot back Albus. “Mom’s starting to wonder when you’d bring a girl home, but alas,” said Albus and in the heap of the moment, a shoe went flying into his way and shot him right in the middle of his forehead. Aberforth decided to make his brother shut up the old fashioned, Muggle way and aimed the shoe right into his brother’s head. “Ouch.”

“That’ll make you shut up,” said Aberforth and Gellert gave him an unamused look. 

“You’ll pay for this,” said Albus, stood up and started chasing Aberforth around the field, trying to catch him and Aberforth was running away from him. Being the good boyfriend, Gellert decided to help Albus out and both of them were chasing the poor Abe around the field. 

There in the distance, Kendra and Ariana were standing and watching all of that. Kendra was sighing and then looked over to her daughter, who was now just shaking her head. “Ariana, my darling,” said Kendra and placed a hand on top of her daughter’s shoulder. “I’m so happy you’re far more mature than your brothers,” she said as she was slowly getting tired of that. 

“…boys,” said Ariana and shook her head.

“One of these days they’ll drive me insane,” said Kendra and Ariana laughed. 

“Worry not, mum, you have me,” said Ariana and placed her hand on top of her mother’s hand, trying to cheer her up, but it wasn’t working as then Aberforth was running up to them and Kendra’s eyes widened. She knew that look; he was coming to tell on Albus what he had done to him and Kendra acted quickly. 

“Ariana, run,” said Kendra as the two of them ran up to the house and then just locked the door. Luckily, Aberforth didn’t have his wand. 

“Mum! Open the door, Albus-”

“You two are big boys, take care of it on your own,” grumbled Kendra and then just tried her best to tune him out. Ariana was laughing as she was listening to Aberforth, who eventually gave up and went away, Kendra sighing in relief. 

She was getting too old for dealing with their shit! 

 


End file.
